Show Posts
1
Pirated Game Reviews / Stub Game Review
« on: May 22, 2020, 07:56:57 PM »
As a huge fan of stubs, I was very excited to see these ROMs in the library of Project Plug 'n Play.
My mind was racing. I thought I had seen stubs of all shapes and sizes, but now? There was a game about them. Was it a first person shooter where you would run around as a stub gunning down other stubs? Was it a racing game? The possibilities were endless. Without a hint of hesitation, I opened the first ROM in Nintendulator NRS.
My eyes widened. On my screen were the words STUB GAME above a small menu. I couldn't fathom the meaning of the words. "LAYER"? "OPTIMAL STEP"? "YOUR MOVE"? Could this be a stub-theme strategy game? My curiousity was piqued, and things were only more interesting as I discovered the game's menu cursor functioned not unlike a mouse cursor on a PC, being able to be freely moved in four directions.
Upon selecting the "H" option, the game started, but appeared to be playing itself. I was astounded at the realism of the stub graphics. Never before had I seen stubs this beautifully rendered in any video game format. As a stub connoisseur, having the game play itself was no problem as I could bask in the beauty of these wonderful stubs. However, I figured I should try playing it myself.
After selecting the next option below, I realized that I had now gained control of the powers of stub maniuplation. It gave me an indescribable power high knowing the fate of these stubs was controlled by my own hands, something to this day no game has ever given me since.
After several hours of feverishly moving the stubs back and forth, I realized that there was quite clearly an objective to clear: get the stubs from one end of the screen to the other. Unfortunately, I was not the stub mastermind this game assumed me to be, so I struggled for days attempting to figure out this devilish puzzle.
However, after endless, sleepless days of not drinking, eating or using the bathroom, the solution came to me. I felt like the smartest man on Earth. I was possibly the only man to have solved this fiendish riddle constructed by only the smartest of stub fanatics. And to think, there were two more ROMs of this!? I wasn't sure I was prepared to take on another challenge after the intense strife of solving the first game's puzzle.
Upon starting the ROM for revision 2, the visuals seemed about the same, but there was one major difference: a heavenly, brilliant piece most likely composed by a famous chiptune artist like Tim Follin or Alberto Gonzalez. I could feel my very essence being purified by the sheer sonic bliss.
However, upon starting the VT03 build, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to witness.
They say you can't improve perfection, but LOOK AT THIS. The already brilliantly rendered stubs were now in 256 colors, more detailed, more crisp, more beautiful than they'd ever been. Alongside this was another incredible soundtrack rivaling the likes of classics like Chrono Trigger. While the gameplay was about the same (can't fix what isn't broken), this new audiovisual upgrade made me have a near out of body experience. It felt like the planets had aligned. I would never be the same man again after playing this wonderful series.
All in all, the STUB GAME series gets a solid 100/100. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these games.
My mind was racing. I thought I had seen stubs of all shapes and sizes, but now? There was a game about them. Was it a first person shooter where you would run around as a stub gunning down other stubs? Was it a racing game? The possibilities were endless. Without a hint of hesitation, I opened the first ROM in Nintendulator NRS.
My eyes widened. On my screen were the words STUB GAME above a small menu. I couldn't fathom the meaning of the words. "LAYER"? "OPTIMAL STEP"? "YOUR MOVE"? Could this be a stub-theme strategy game? My curiousity was piqued, and things were only more interesting as I discovered the game's menu cursor functioned not unlike a mouse cursor on a PC, being able to be freely moved in four directions.
Upon selecting the "H" option, the game started, but appeared to be playing itself. I was astounded at the realism of the stub graphics. Never before had I seen stubs this beautifully rendered in any video game format. As a stub connoisseur, having the game play itself was no problem as I could bask in the beauty of these wonderful stubs. However, I figured I should try playing it myself.
After selecting the next option below, I realized that I had now gained control of the powers of stub maniuplation. It gave me an indescribable power high knowing the fate of these stubs was controlled by my own hands, something to this day no game has ever given me since.
After several hours of feverishly moving the stubs back and forth, I realized that there was quite clearly an objective to clear: get the stubs from one end of the screen to the other. Unfortunately, I was not the stub mastermind this game assumed me to be, so I struggled for days attempting to figure out this devilish puzzle.
However, after endless, sleepless days of not drinking, eating or using the bathroom, the solution came to me. I felt like the smartest man on Earth. I was possibly the only man to have solved this fiendish riddle constructed by only the smartest of stub fanatics. And to think, there were two more ROMs of this!? I wasn't sure I was prepared to take on another challenge after the intense strife of solving the first game's puzzle.
Upon starting the ROM for revision 2, the visuals seemed about the same, but there was one major difference: a heavenly, brilliant piece most likely composed by a famous chiptune artist like Tim Follin or Alberto Gonzalez. I could feel my very essence being purified by the sheer sonic bliss.
However, upon starting the VT03 build, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to witness.
They say you can't improve perfection, but LOOK AT THIS. The already brilliantly rendered stubs were now in 256 colors, more detailed, more crisp, more beautiful than they'd ever been. Alongside this was another incredible soundtrack rivaling the likes of classics like Chrono Trigger. While the gameplay was about the same (can't fix what isn't broken), this new audiovisual upgrade made me have a near out of body experience. It felt like the planets had aligned. I would never be the same man again after playing this wonderful series.
All in all, the STUB GAME series gets a solid 100/100. There is absolutely nothing wrong with these games.
)
